From Siachen Isolation to Inner Illumination: A Doctor’s Quest in Faith and Reason

High up in the Siachen glaciers, where silence is broken only by the howling winds and the distant echoes of military aircraft, a young Air Force doctor found himself in an unusual situation. Newly married, yet alone. Surrounded by ice, yet deeply immersed in fire—the fire of aspiration.

For three months, with no phone calls, no letters (except for those that arrived unpredictably, depending on helicopters and weather), he befriended a book—The Synthesis of Yoga. In those freezing, desolate months, he discovered a kind of joy that few ever experience. It was not the happiness of external pleasures, nor the comfort of human relationships. It was the quiet, boundless joy of diving deep into consciousness, uninterrupted, undistracted.

Even today, when asked to recall one of the best experiences of his life, he does not speak of grand achievements or dramatic moments. He speaks of those three months in the glaciers.

This doctor, now a seeker, does not see medicine and spirituality as separate. His work in mental health has shown him that the mind is not just a bundle of neurons, nor is consciousness simply a chemical reaction. His journey—from the precision of medical science to the vastness of spiritual exploration—has given him a unique perspective on life, suffering, and transformation.

In this conversation, we reason through some universal questions —not as mere theories, but as lived experiences.

The nature of consciousness has puzzled philosophers, scientists, and spiritual seekers alike.

What is consciousness? Is it a fundamental reality, or just a product of brain activity? Ancient traditions and modern science offer conflicting views.

The Advaita Vedanta school of Hinduism describes the Self as beyond both inward and outward awareness(Turiya), while the Buddhist philosopher Nagarjuna argues that consciousness arises only in dependence on external conditions and has no independent existence(Anatta).

Between these contradictions lies our inquiry, let us begin.

Nature of Consciousness

Q: In simple terms, what is consciousness, and how does it go beyond just being aware of our surroundings?

A: Consciousness can be understood in different ways depending on the viewpoint. From a purely material perspective, consciousness appears as a byproduct of neural activity, a result of interactions between brain cells and the nervous system. However, this is only a limited perspective.

Spiritual traditions and yoga offer a deeper understanding—consciousness is not just an effect of the brain but is fundamental to existence itself. Unlike material science, which tries to study consciousness from a fixed standpoint, yoga and inner exploration reveal that by evolving our awareness, we can directly experience different dimensions of consciousness.

A simple analogy is that of a child and an adult. A child may not understand certain experiences or ideas fully, and parents often say, “You will understand when you grow up." In the same way, the evolution of consciousness is like growing up—we become capable of perceiving deeper truths that were previously hidden from us.

Q: How do different philosophical and spiritual traditions define consciousness?

A: Various traditions offer different perspectives. Buddhism, for example, states that there is no consciousness in the way we conventionally understand it. This means that there is no mental way to fully define or comprehend it. On the other hand, Advaita Vedanta asserts the existence of one infinite consciousness. Although these perspectives seem contradictory, they are actually pointing to the same truth from different angles.

Buddha specifically avoided metaphysical speculation because he understood that numerous philosophical schools would emerge, leading to endless debates. His primary focus was to provide a practical path to liberation from suffering. He emphasized direct experience over theoretical discussions.

Thus, one approach to understanding consciousness is through logical reasoning, while another is through direct experiential realization via yoga. The latter is more accurate but requires a leap of faith, as one must dedicate themselves to discovering the nature of consciousness without guaranteed results.

Q: If we analyze consciousness rationally, how can we define it?

A: Rationally speaking, consciousness is awareness—the ability to perceive and respond to existence. However, it is not just passive observation. Awareness includes the inherent power to act.

For example, if someone unexpectedly pushes me from behind, my reaction depends on my awareness. If I think a stranger has pushed me, I may react with irritation. If I turn and see it is a friend, my response will change instantly. This shows that consciousness is dynamic—it shapes how we act, and our actions, in turn, influence our consciousness.

Additionally, consciousness is not static; it evolves. Education, experiences, meditation, and self-reflection all contribute to its development. The important question, then, is: Is human awareness the only form of consciousness? If it were merely a product of the brain, then perhaps it would be. But if consciousness exists beyond the mind, then we must explore further.

Q: If consciousness is fundamental, how does it relate to existence?

A: Consciousness and existence are inseparable. The fact that I can say, “I am, I exist, I am aware of myself," is itself proof of consciousness. Even if I have no external validation, I still know that I exist. This is a paradox—awareness itself is proof of existence.

This is why in Indian philosophy, reality is often described as Sat-Chit-Ananda—Existence (Sat), Consciousness (Chit), and Bliss (Ananda). These three are not separate qualities but different aspects of the same reality.

Ananda, or bliss, is not just happiness in the conventional sense. It is the underlying delight of existence—the drive that keeps life moving forward. This is why people continue to strive, even when faced with difficulties. Even in suffering, there is an impulse to overcome, to grow. This impulse is an expression of the deeper consciousness at play.

Q: How do shifts in consciousness affect our daily experiences?

A: Our state of consciousness constantly fluctuates. Some mornings, we wake up feeling joyful for no apparent reason. On other days, we wake up feeling heavy or anxious. External events may sometimes trigger these shifts, but often, they happen due to unseen influences—waves of energy, subconscious patterns, or even the collective mental atmosphere.

Take depression as an example. Depression is a state where consciousness contracts, creating a sense of isolation. When a person is in this state, they may want to withdraw, avoid interaction, and feel as though no one understands them. Their consciousness has shrunk into a narrow, ego-centered space.

On the other hand, there is expansive consciousness—like the vastness of an ocean. If you drop a stone into a small cup of water, it creates a major disturbance. But if you drop the same stone into a river, the impact is minor. Drop it into the ocean, and it is barely noticeable. The more expansive our consciousness, the less we are affected by disturbances. The goal of inner growth is to move from a limited, ego-driven consciousness to a vast, universal awareness.

Q: If someone wants to expand their consciousness, what practical steps can they take?

A: There are three key approaches:

Satsang—Company of the Wise: The company we keep influences our mental state. Buddha emphasized that associating with fools leads to degeneration, while being in the presence of the wise uplifts consciousness. If one cannot find enlightened company, reading profound books is the next best alternative. Books are powerful because they connect us with the consciousness of the author.
Mantra—Sacred Sound: Mantras are vibrational tools that shift consciousness. When repeated with sincerity, they unlock higher states of awareness.
The Divine—Faith and Relationship: In Indian tradition, God is not merely a distant judge but a close companion. Those who are struggling, especially with depression or uncertainty, can find great relief in making the Divine a personal presence in their lives.

Faith & Surrender

In contrast, Freud dismisses faith as “a projection of human helplessness, a longing for a father figure rather than a rational truth."

Let us synthesize the above contradictions.

Q: Many believe that material reality is the only reality. But is that assumption valid?

A: That assumption is based on a premise that is self-created. If someone says that material reality is the only reality, we must ask: Who made this premise? It is based on what? The fact that I can only sense matter? But even that is not entirely true. I can sense desires without seeing them. I can sense emotions without a picture. I can know that I am thinking without having to prove it physically.

Every day, we believe in things beyond the material. If someone says, “I was thinking," we do not demand proof of their thoughts. We accept that thinking exists. Similarly, faith is not about believing in something blindly but about recognizing that there are realities beyond our immediate perception.

Shakespeare said, “There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy." The absence of faith is a sign of arrogance, a refusal to acknowledge that there may be truths beyond what we currently know.

Q: So, faith is not necessarily religious but an essential part of human progress?

A: Exactly. Faith is what drives all action. A person who believes that money will bring happiness works hard to earn wealth. A scientist who has faith that a cure for a disease can be found dedicates years to research. Without faith, there is no movement, no progress.

For example, people in ashrams dedicate decades of their lives to spiritual evolution. They do this not because they have already realized the highest truth, but because their faith in the teachings keeps them moving forward. If you take away faith, you take away the very engine of human striving.

Q: Many struggle with the idea of faith because it seems irrational. How does faith relate to reason?

A: Faith and reason are not contradictory; they support each other. But people misunderstand reason. Reason is based on premises, and who chooses those premises? If I start with the premise that material reality is the only reality, then all my logic will be confined to that boundary. But if I accept that there may be higher dimensions of reality, then my reason will explore those as well.

Take the story of Svetaketu and his father Aruni Uddalaka.

One day, a wise father, Uddalaka, sent his son, Svetaketu, to meditate and find the truth about himself. Svetaketu went away and thought deeply.

After some time, he returned and said, “Father, I am my body and senses." His father shook his head and sent him back to think more.

Later, Svetaketu came back and said, “I am my breath (prana)." Again, his father said, “Think deeper."

Svetaketu left again. He returned and said, “I am my thoughts." His father smiled but asked him to go even deeper.

After more thinking, Svetaketu said, “I am my wisdom." His father nodded but told him, “You are still not at the deepest truth."

Finally, after much time, Svetaketu came back with a bright face. He said, “Father, I am the infinite Self. I am one with everything!"

His father smiled and said, “Yes, my son. You are That. This is the truth of all things."

Faith moves mountains, not because mountains physically shift, but because faith compels us to undertake the journey of climbing them. Without faith, we remain stagnant; with faith, we move forward toward higher consciousness and realization.

Q: Can faith exist without logical proof?

A: It must. Faith exists because knowledge is incomplete. Every day, we operate on faith. When we say, “We will meet tomorrow at 2 PM," we act on the faith that we will both be alive and able to meet. If we did not have faith in things beyond immediate proof, we would never plan anything, never take risks, never step into the unknown.

However, once we attain complete knowledge, faith is no longer needed. This is why Sri Aurobindo speaks of the supramental truth— when one reaches a state where reality is directly perceived, faith transforms into certainty. Until then, faith is what allows us to keep moving forward even when we do not fully understand.

If someone says, “I don’t believe in God," I ask, “What do you believe in?" Even atheists have faith in something—science, reason, or even their own abilities. The question is not whether faith exists but where it is placed.

Q: Can faith exist alongside doubt, or does it require absolute conviction?

A: Faith requires absolute conviction in the Divine, in the higher truth, and in the direction of one’s growth. However, one must doubt oneself from time to time. One must question: Is my experience real? Is my understanding correct?

For instance, if someone says, “I have had a divine revelation.," they should absolutely doubt that—because true spiritual realization always comes with humility, not self-aggrandizement.

Doubt can be a tool for refining one’s understanding. But if one doubts the Divine itself, then the entire foundation collapses. It becomes one step forward, one step back—no real progress happens.

Q: What are the risks of blind faith, and how can one develop discernment while maintaining faith?

A: Faith, by its nature, involves trusting what is not yet fully known. But blind faith must not become blind stupidity.

For example, if I am walking, does faith mean I close my eyes and expect God to guide me? No. That is foolishness. Christ himself warned against this when he was told to throw himself off a height, saying, “One must not tempt the Lord."

Faith and discernment must go together. Faith should not mean abandoning intelligence. If someone says, “Have faith in me—give me all your money and I will take you to heaven," you must question that. But if faith means trusting that the Divine knows best and will guide your life in the right direction, that is a faith worth holding onto.

Q: How does one strengthen faith?

A: There are three ways:

The company of those who have faith – Faith is strengthened by being around those who have unshakable trust in the Divine. If you surround yourself with doubters, your own faith will weaken.
Direct experience – Faith must not remain theoretical. One must engage in practices like meditation, prayer, or study, allowing faith to grow through lived experience.
Avoiding excessive intellectual fragmentation – Many people weaken their faith by constantly consuming conflicting viewpoints. They jump from one philosophy to another, never settling anywhere. This only creates confusion. Instead, start from your own inner sense of truth and build upon it.

Q: Can faith exist without surrender?

A: Faith leads to surrender. If I truly trust the Divine, I will not resist its guidance. However, surrender is not about doing nothing. It is an active trust that allows one to align with higher forces rather than struggle against them. A great example is the river and the ocean. The river does not resist; it flows naturally, knowing its destination is the sea. Similarly, when faith matures, surrender follows.

Q: Many people misunderstand surrender as passivity, as if it means simply waiting for the Divine to take care of everything. What does true surrender actually mean?

A: Surrender is not about inaction or passively accepting whatever happens. It is about aligning oneself with the highest truth and dedicating all efforts toward it.

Look at the Vedas. The seeker prays, “O Divine, take me through the right path.” This is not a prayer of helplessness; it is a conscious offering of oneself to the highest possibility. When we surrender, we are not giving up responsibility; we are taking greater responsibility by aligning with the Divine’s will.

If I say I have surrendered to someone I love, does it mean I do nothing? No, it means I shape my life according to that love. Similarly, surrender to a higher consciousness means acting in accordance with that consciousness.

Q: Does surrender mean relinquishing free will?

A: Not at all. Surrender means using free will to make the highest choice. Arjuna, in the Bhagavad Gita, surrendered to Krishna, but Krishna did not tell him, “Sit aside, I will fight for you.” Instead, after guiding him, Krishna told Arjuna, “Now, act according to your inner will.”

True surrender requires tremendous effort. It is not about doing nothing; it is about acting from a higher space, rather than from personal ego and desire.

Free will remains in choosing to align with the Divine rather than implying a loss of agency.

Q: Many people expect that if they surrender to God, their external problems will automatically be solved. What would you say to them?

A: This is a misunderstanding. God does not come and magically solve our problems. He gives us the way to rise above them.

Some people even ask others to pray for them to solve their personal issues, such as marital conflicts. But these conflicts arise from human nature—from ego, expectation, and misunderstanding. If God intervenes and stops a couple from arguing for a day, will they stop forever? No, because the root cause—their egos—remains unchanged.

Surrender means taking responsibility for our own transformation. It is not about asking God to remove difficulties but about seeking the wisdom to rise above them.

Q: How does surrender help one overcome suffering?

A: Suffering comes from limitation—of perception, consciousness, or understanding. When we surrender to a greater truth, we expand, and suffering loses its grip.

For example, two people may fight because of differing views. If they remain stuck in their own limited perspectives, conflict continues. But if one person expands their consciousness, understanding that the other is bound by their own conditioning, the conflict dissolves.

Much of human suffering comes from expecting others to behave a certain way, from clinging to personal desires. When we expand our consciousness, we let go of these expectations. This does not mean passivity—it means seeing things from a higher plane and acting accordingly.

Q: How does one begin the process of surrender?

A: It starts with an inner commitment: “My life is meant for the highest truth.” This is central surrender—offering one’s destiny to the Divine or to the highest consciousness one perceives.

From there, the journey is one of growth. It is not completed in a day. The Mother was once asked, “We have studied surrender. Now, what’s next?” She laughed and said, “Surrender is a lifelong process—at least one full lifetime!”

True surrender means reaching a state where even our smallest actions—our speech, our thoughts, our movements—are aligned with the Divine. It is a constant refinement, a lifelong evolution.

Surrender is about aligning one’s action with the highest truth rather than waiting passively.

Parting Thoughts

We live in a world that often forces us to choose—faith or reason, surrender or effort, intellect or intuition. But these are not opposites; they can work together. Faith provides direction, while reason keeps us grounded. True wisdom comes from weaving them into a life that is both practical and meaningful.

Surrender is not weakness but strength in trusting something greater. Faith is not blind but the courage to move forward despite uncertainty. Effort is not struggle but a conscious alignment with deeper truth.

However, blind faith is risky. History shows how false leaders have misled people. True faith must be paired with critical thinking and self-reflection. Similarly, surrender can be dangerous if it leads to blind obedience. Balance is key—trust, but question.

Faith, reason, and surrender shape our lives, but their true value lies in practical application. How do they guide us in our careers, relationships, stress management, and personal growth?

The young doctor’s time in isolation was not an escape, but a preparation—a reminder that real transformation begins within. And yet, his story is not just his own. It is ours too.

Because whether in the silence of the glaciers or the noise of daily life, the journey remains the same: to expand, to awaken, and to move through the world—not as prisoners of it, but as seekers of something greater.

For those seeking a deeper connection with existence, the path is clear: Engage with the world, but do not be bound by it. Strive for knowledge, but do not be trapped by intellect alone. Act with full intensity, but surrender to the highest truth. This is the paradox, and the beauty, of conscious living.

About the Guest: Dr. Alok Pandey

Dr. Alok Pandey is a psychiatrist and scholar of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother’s teachings, particularly in the areas of Yoga, Psychology, Education, and Health. His work combines medical science with spiritual insight, offering a broader understanding of mental well-being and consciousness.

He earned his MBBS and MD in Psychiatry from Armed Forces Medical College (AFMC), Pune, and served in the Indian Air Force, retiring as a Wing Commander. During his service, he worked at the Institute of Space and Aviation Medicine, Bangalore, later, he taught as an Associate Professor of Psychiatry at the Pondicherry Institute of Medical Sciences.

Now based at the Sri Aurobindo Ashram, Pondicherry, Dr. Pandey has been the Senior Editor of NAMAH, a journal on Integral Health. He has contributed extensively to discussions on yoga, psychology, and holistic well-being, both through articles and workshops in India and abroad.

He is the author of Death, Dying and Beyond, which explores themes of mortality, consciousness, and transformation. Through his research, writing, and lectures, Dr. Pandey continues to engage with mental health, spiritual growth, and the integration of Eastern and Western perspectives on psychology.

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