Five Easy Ways to Manage Jealousy

Apr 22, 2022 Updated: Jan 20, 2025 5 min read

Last updated: January 4, 2026

Story: Tangled Whispers

Shobha’s life was good. Educated. Employed. Married to Shiv. A daughter. But when Shiv went abroad for work, the jealousy started.

During a video call, Shiv mentioned lunch with an old classmate. Casual conversation. Nothing unusual.

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Then the whisper: What if he’s cheating?

It spiraled. In conversations, she’d casually ask about this woman. The words tasted like poison. She watched Shiv’s face for signs of guilt. He had none. He was innocent.

But Shobha was already sold on the story in her head.

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She tested him. Confronted him. Even hired someone to follow him. When nothing was found, she moved to his city. The obsession grew. Sarcastic remarks. Constant questioning. She resented their daughter for loving her father.

By the time Shobha realized the truth, there was nothing left to save.

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Her husband distant. Her daughter broken. Her marriage destroyed.

All by jealousy that was never real.

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Jealousy is a strange disease. It makes you focus on the other person when the problem is inside you. Psychologists call it “Loss Aversion”—you feel more pain from losing something than joy from gaining it.

Shobha’s story doesn’t have to be yours.

What Jealousy Does

Jealousy is universal. Everyone feels it at some point.

Sometimes it’s justified—when someone threatens your relationship. Sometimes it’s not—when your best friend gets attention and you feel left out.

But whether it’s rational or irrational, jealousy has the same effect: it destroys things.

Psychologists call it “Loss Aversion.” You feel more pain from losing something than joy from gaining it. Your brain focuses on what you might lose, not what you already have.

The problem is simple: jealousy makes you look outward when you should be looking inward.

The solution? Five practical strategies to manage it before it manages you.

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1. Identify Your Triggers

What makes you jealous?

An ex showing up on social media with their new family. A coworker getting all your boss’s attention. Your partner’s sibling getting more time than you do.

The trigger might be different for everyone. But the pattern is the same: something triggers the fear, and the fear spirals.

You can’t manage jealousy until you know what starts it. So identify it. Name it. Once you see the trigger, you can stop reacting automatically.

2. Pause Before You Conclude

Your partner goes out without you. Your mind jumps to conclusions.

But pause.

Take a breath. Think about what’s actually happening—not what you’re afraid is happening.

Your partner’s friend had a rough day. Your partner went to listen. They didn’t leave you out on purpose.

People usually have good reasons for what they do. You’re just not seeing it yet because fear is doing the seeing for you.

Stop. Look at the full picture. Not the scary version in your head. The actual version.

3. Remember Your Value

Jealousy happens because you’re comparing yourself to someone else.

And you’re losing in your own mind.

But comparison is a lie. You’re unique. You have strengths nobody else has. You’re valuable just as you are—right now, exactly as you are.

That’s why people love you.

So when you feel jealous, remind yourself: this person loves me because of who I am, not because of who I’m comparing myself to.

The jealousy isn’t about their value. It’s about your worth. And your worth is not negotiable.

4. Practice Gratitude

Every day, write down three things that are good in your life.

Not big things. Small things are perfect.

A roof over your head. A good meal. A show you enjoyed. The person who loves you, even when you’re jealous.

Gratitude does something jealousy can’t: it keeps you in what you have instead of focused on what you might lose.

When you’re grateful, jealousy loses its power.

5. Talk to a Trusted Friend

Jealousy thrives in silence.

Share your fears with someone who cares about you. Not to complain. To gain perspective.

A good friend can see what you can’t. They can remind you that your fear isn’t fact. They can help you see the full picture when your mind is stuck on one dark corner.

Don’t let jealousy be a secret. Secrets make it stronger.

The Bottom Line

These strategies won’t make jealousy disappear. But they’ll help you manage it before it manages you.

Shobha didn’t know these steps. And jealousy destroyed her marriage, damaged her child, and left her alone.

You have a choice she didn’t: to notice the jealousy early and interrupt the spiral.

The moment you feel it—identify the trigger. Pause. Remember your value. Notice what you have. Talk to someone you trust.

Jealousy wants to be fed. Starve it instead.

The Choice

Jealousy is universal. Everyone gets jealous.

The question isn’t whether you’ll feel it. The question is: what will you do when you do?

Will you let it spiral like Shobha? Or will you interrupt it early?

You now know five ways to manage it. Use them.

Identify your trigger. Pause before concluding. Remember your value. Practice gratitude. Talk to someone you trust.

The relationship you save might be the most important one—the one with yourself.

Shobha didn’t have this choice. She let jealousy destroy everything.

You do. Use it.

About the Author

belynder-walia

Belynder is the founder of Serene Lifestyles, an online psychotherapy practice. She uses psychotherapy and neuroplasticity to help people manage anxiety and stress.

Her work has been featured in Forbes, Cosmopolitan, Thrive Global, The London Economic, and Calm.