How to Avoid Relationship Problems in 2022
While little is known in modern times about ancient deities, one of them to contemplate upon is the Roman God Janus. He has two faces, often portrayed with one bearded older face, and the other clean-shaven face of youth looking towards the future.
Janus was known as the God of beginnings and transitions. The first God to be invoked during all matters of rituals and rites. He was the guardian of subliminal spaces and transitions - from youth to adulthood, from barbarity to civilization, countryside to cities, outer space to inner space.
Janus is from where we get the word January. Let us begin this year with the spirit of collecting wisdom from the past and creating for the future.
In our previous article on relationship management we shared some actionable insights, in continuation we dive further into expert advice on relationship problems.
Here’s what experienced therapists have to offer.
“By now people, in general, have understood the importance of open dialogue, trust, mutual respect, individual space, and financial empowerment are the key factors in maintaining healthy interpersonal relationships.
However, with changing times, it’s even more crucial to understand that there is a thin line between being independent and self-reliant. The former emerges as a rebellious streak whereas the latter is a more sustainable and healthy way of viewing oneself in the relationship. Don’t mix the two things. Understanding the difference between the two is important.”
“While being loyal, trustworthy, and honest are unsaid rules of any relationship, it tends to add layers of complexity, if not handled effectively.
To manage a relationship, the most crucial aspect is open and clear face-to-face communication.
It helps us to perceive the world from our partner’s perspective. Listening as well as communicating goes hand in hand. If we need to imbibe clear communication as a tool, the presence of ego is required to be shed - for ego deepens the emotional gap between couples.
So, communicate, listen attentively, shed ego, say words of affirmation in form of kind words, encouraging words, forgiving words, and give personal space to help other people grow in a relationship. Any kind of relationship is beautiful if it is handled lovingly.”
“When we think about what’s the secret of a happy and stable marriage or any relationship, we think of – love, affection, truthfulness, respect, open communication, and sharing between the couples.
However, these are the very things that are also responsible for breaking a marriage or a relationship. These are the things we expect from our spouse, or our partner in the relationship. Expecting them makes us the SEEKERS in the relationship.
When we are the seekers, we have expectations that must be fulfilled and when those expectations are not fulfilled we feel negative towards the other partner or we feel low self-worth which is detrimental for us as well as the relationship.
The secret to a long and happy relationship is when both partners agree that they have a sense of RESPONSIBILITY and the DUTY towards each other and this marriage and that they are in this relationship to give and the taking comes later.
When they mutually decide that the joys and security of my partner is my priority, then they are in the position of the GIVER. They share a sense of gratitude for each other’s presence in their life and they stand by each other in times of conflict and when issues arise.
If one of them is a seeker and the other one is the giver, the seeker will one day exhaust the giver. If both are seekers then the pot will always remain empty because they are just expecting from each other and no one makes an effort to fulfill the expectations. However, when both the partners are in the giver’s position the marriage or the relationship pot will never run empty or dry.
It is also important to give space to each other and see the goodness in each other. "
“Relationship is an ecosystem which guides us to find our strengths, weaknesses, potentials, and possibilities. We need to understand that we need to view this world in a 3D perspective but mostly we observe things in their duality. Thus, we are always dependent on something and that crafts our mannerisms and ways of approaching various things in life.
In my perspective, relationship management and emotional regulation are two very important aspects concerning mental health and common public that needs to increase interaction and awareness to making coping healthier.
Relationship management is a dynamic craft and needs to be carved with utmost care and respect. We need to reflect on why most relationships come across difficulties? It is because we reduce our thinking to the idea of sharing the power dynamics in the relationship i.e. who holds more power and is dominant in the relationship.
As individuals, we all are conditioned with the idea of controlling and holding power. We all experience this need where we feel the other person should submit to one’s thoughts and desires and things will work well once they are on track accordingly.
This creates a conflict strain on the relationship. Hence, sometimes even if there is a feeling of love in the relationship it suffers the idea of pain. This conflict strain will tighten its grip and keep affecting the individuals involved in the relationship until they choose to do something about it.
A good relationship is which divides the work based on skills and abilities and then works out the social system.
This makes both the individuals equal, desirable, and empowered.”
“Life becomes easier to deal with when one equips oneself with the art of managing relationships.
Self-respect and offering respect to the other person’s opinion play a very important role in managing relationships.
One should avoid being either too benign or too dominant.
Development of trust followed by maintaining it, strengthens the relationship.
It is important to resolve misunderstandings by trying to provide instant clarifications.
It is always good to not have unrealistic expectations which are unrealistic helps the relationship to grow with time.
Lastly, keep in mind that one must not be competitive with the other partner. "
“If you believe you are always right, you can never learn and that would in a sense, end your very purpose of existence. A partnership between two people is one of the most important resources for the same.
A partner is that person who makes you learn most of your life lessons.
To learn these with pain or an understanding is our choice.
Being considerate and trying to be empathetic is how we ease the process of life.
Happy Learning! Happy Healing! "
“Do’s: Do accept your partner for who he or she is. Opposites attract — and then spend the next 20 years trying to make their partner into a mirror image of themselves. Love your partner for who they are, not for whom you think they could become. That doesn’t mean that you have to like everything about them!
Don’t: Don’t take your partner for granted. Throughout your relationship, there will be months at a time when family or work demands our complete time and attention. During those times, when you feel neglected, don’t get angry at your loved one. Instead, let them know how much you miss them and how important they are to you. Focus on your desire to be closer, not on your frustration about being distant.”
“Must do: Give each other space, respect each other, and always show your love through actions.
Don’t: Compare your relationship with others”
“Don’t: Become defensive or avoid the other person’s attempts to engage in a healthy discussion about conflict (e.g., a perceived hurt or constructive feedback).
Do: Create a space for them to feel heard and understood so that you can then do the same from your perspective, before moving together into problem-solving. Mirroring back your understanding of their perspective does not mean you are negating your own.”
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